Wednesday, June 18, 2008

My New Job is Strange


Not only because it's staffed by people who are really, really, really, REALLY into racial justice (I've been forced to put up a very ugly racial justice-themed calendar in my office--nothing like a new picture of some random march or rally every month to really help the time fly by), but mostly because of that thing you see in the picture, which is right outside my office, which, by the way, is so far from a window that I have to pass by about 6 other offices just to be able to see the door of an office from which you can see a window. They call my enchanted corner "the South Side," which in most cities seems to be code for "the ghetto."

In any case, thing in the picture above turns out to be a very sophisticated mousetrap. Since we are a racial justice organization and therefore love everyone and everything, it was at some point decided that mice should not die horrible deaths at our hands. Therefore, the traditional spring traps you see in cartoons were out of the question, and the decidedly horrible glue traps that force you to affirmatively kill the mouse yourself were also ruled out.

So they went out somewhere and bought that thing, which apparently works as follows: the little box is somehow suffused with mouse pheromones, which lures mice into the box, after which they can't escape. So basically, this thing lures mice in there by reeking of mousesex, and then the mouse gets in there and can't get out, all the while trapped by itself, with no opposable thumbs or appropriate reading materials, in a chamber full of sex hormones that will drive it crazy until somebody sees him and releases him into, presumably, the wilderness that is downtown D.C.

We haven't caught any mice since I've been here, but I can assure you that when we do, I'm not getting anywhere near the releasing of the sex-crazed rodent.

3 comments:

Adrian said...

yaaaaasss great stuff. Welcome back, Don Paco.

Estella said...

When can I come visit?!? - Fangcita

Don Paco said...

You're welcome any time, Fangcita! The Hacienda's Capitol Area Annex is humble but guest-friendly.