Monday, November 26, 2007

Meet the Beast


Above: Meet Le Tigre, the Mark of the Beasting.


Don Paco here, introducing you to our newest feature here at the Hacienda: the Beasting of the Day.

What is a beasting? You have been beasted if someone (including you) has done something so adverse to your reputation, physical or mental well-being, or overall prospects that it is inevitable that you emerge from the episode unarguably worse off.

Here is a one-act play illustrating the use of the term:

Don Paco: Even though Mitt Romney has spent millions of his own dollars to lock down the Iowa caucuses and Mike Huckabee has run a barebones, grassroots campaign, the two are now at a dead statistical heat in the polls. That’s got to be frustrating for Romney.

You: That Mike Huckabee sure is BEASTING Mitt Romney!

Don Paco: And oil is almost at $100 a barrel!

You: Damn, Americans are getting BEASTED at the pump!

Don Paco: And finally, did you know that last year Bush and the losers in Congress suspended the 1000 year old right of habeas corpus?

You: Yo that Constitution be getting BEASTED, son!

Don Paco: It sure is, You, it sure is. By the way, you appear to have soiled yourself.

You: Shit!

Don Paco: Indeed.

Exeunt Don Paco, You.
Fin


The inaugural beasting will be unleashed upon the world tomorrow.

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