Monday, October 22, 2007

In Which Don Paco Cordially Welcomes You to His Porch

Hola. Thank you for stopping by, please sit. Would you like some coffee? My highly trained dog Santiago will fetch it for you. No? Are you sure? It is quite delicious, and Santiago does not mind. Very well then, but I must warn you that it is brewed from the finest freshly roasted coffee beans from Puerto Rico, and that by not having any you are doing yourself a spectacular disservice. You will have some? You are wise beyond your years. Santiago! Café! It should be here shortly.

So, my friend, how have the Bush years been treating you? Wow! I must say, I am very impressed with the sheer poetic vulgarity of the outburst my innocent question seems to have occasioned in you. Never have I heard so heartfelt a call for an elected official to be raped by velociraptors! I must make certain to mention this in my next letter to Michael Crichton.

Please enjoy your delicious coffee. Feel free to stay as long as you want. I am going inside to have a little chat with Santiago. You see, he had been gaining too much weight, and I have been forced to put him on a diet, which he has taken to poorly, and he is insistent on communicating his displeasure by defecating on my floor several times a day.

Is there something wrong with your coffee? You look pale.

10 comments:

Mariestella said...

Hooray!! You finally have a blog! Pretty crazy storylines and much hilarity (I especially liked Mr. Freeze and Santi)! Felicidades, Don Paco, Puerto Rico se enorgullece de Ud y sus barbaridades literarias!

Mariestella said...

p.s. what if you don't drink coffee? can Santi whip up a pin~a colada too?

Don Paco said...

I only want to make my island proud. Santi doesn't do piña coladas because he is violently allergic to Coco López.

Steve said...

bless you, don paco, bless you!

liza said...

well, you can tell santi that since he hasnt called me back since our magical night together that i dont want to talk to him or have any more of that "special" coffee which by the way is Folgers and i know this for a fact because he told me.

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